The Self Destructed
How many times do we use the words "Sure", "Yes, but" or "You're wrong!"?
The question 'How many' is asked just to have an indicator, but the real question we should be triggering is Why do we use such words? What could they possibly bring us?
Let's take a deep analysis over them.
They seem to defend something, or rather hide something that if was exposed would become so fragile and breaking it might might cost a lot. 'Sure' I know this or 'Sure' I can do that are only said when the person has reached to a level where he/she no longer perceives themselves as 'average' or 'normal'. Why would you be so sure? What more do you possess to be so certain?
Saying the word is only an indicator of your self concept and mindset. The 'I might' does no longer satisfy you as you have elevated yourself to the 'I know' phase. But do we really know? Are we all sure? Actually, should we?
One of the major obstacles we find when it comes to communication is when you find it easier to move a mountain on your own than to try to make some people understand your own perception, NOT to convince them, but just to make them get what you say. There is absolutely no reason for that person to listen to anyone if he is really 'sure' of what he's doing or what he's thinking, he will gain no benefit by listening to you instead he will be conscious that your conversation with him would be wasting his time just because of the barrier that automatically surrounds his 'sure' being. What if you are that person? Have you thought about it, sure?
Such barrier not only prevents us from connecting with people but also from connecting with ourselves! The irony is that when you're so sure you would always want to be in this state and never leave it as it is very satisfying to know that you don't need to worry anymore. You then isolate yourself from life and start founding your new world that only revolves around you. Not necessarily that you are in search for serenity, but along the way you are losing many peoples' respect and interest in you as you might easily get motivated by the 'assurance' you are in and not only treat people differently, but attack them for what they are not 'sure' of! And when you see this unjustified offense working, you feel more satisfaction and 'sure'.
So what about the 'Yes, but'?
That is when you start feeling that you might lose your edge, your magic, the thing you have that makes you worry less. In a reaction to this fear of losing such thing, you invest all your thinking to fireback to whoever poked your 'precious'.
The phase of 'Yes, but' could actually be translated to 'Yes, but I am also right'. Well some might think that nothing is wrong with such justification, but the reason we're digging to these statements is not to judge whether to use them or not, but to understand the need to use them.
Why do we need to state that we're 'also right' or that 'we are right' from the first place? Do we really care for others and wish to earn their respect? Well, do we give them respect and care when we prove that they're wrong just so we could prove that we're right?
I believe this is one of the lies we feed ourselves with, we think we want to help people whom we do not think they deserve our help, we want recognition from people we hate and we want respect from people we despise, that's the lie! We give this to ourselves just to feed something else, to sharpen our edge, to feel better about ourselves and to keep our 'precious' safe and sound.
'You're wrong' is the final declaration, sure is a declaration of independence, it probably could not get any worse! The phase you get at where you see yourself at a golden throne, where you become the king of your own island that you've claimed yours by the power stated in 'sure'. Where nothing else matters but to defend this kingdom you've built, even if you sense that the land is poisoned and you need to leave it. A kingdom where you no longer feel guilty, where you feel superior to all mankind, where you feel unique, where you feel no worries or self critique... you know why?
Cause this kingdom you've been building and feeding made You so damn Sure that You are Surely Right and you need nothing from the rest!
Now, it is not impossible to demolish this kingdom. But doing so needs great courage, strength and determination. As even if we've been building our own poisoned kingdoms, it took a lot of our time and energy to accomplish it.
So if anyone decided to stop constructing this kingdom or to annihilate it, you first need to acknowledge and locate it, the rest will be easier (The Bulldozing part).
"If you want to change, something you have to first accept it." And by accepting and acknowledging the sources that feeds this kingdom, we can easily stop wasting our time and energy in originating it. And then finally, you need to locate your demolishing tools to this land, the place where no sane person want to be, a place where you are no longer alive or compassionate, a place that buries your soul and takes away your freedom.. a place called "Ego."